“Ack! The cheese is still in England!” … in regards to TerryPratchett's cheese at PenguiCon 1.0 in TwoThousandThree.
“It's not a crisis yet. We're looking forward to when it becomes a crisis.”
“Having a film room doesn't make you a media con any more than having a ConSuite makes you a snack bar.”
“There's nothing wrong with tea porn, it's just another type of literature.” … JohnScalzi in the panel TeaPartiesInScienceFiction in TwoThousandSix.
Twas the week before Penguicon and all through the state The concom was working before it was too late. The program book was uploaded to the webpage with care in hopes that fen would look and say “I’m so there” The conchair said “BWA-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH!!!” at the sight of sold beds As visions of geeky merriment danced in his head Dealers tables were sold out, the restaurant guide on the net, Some final last minute details, and soon they'd be set. When finally the day for the con did arrive We jumped in the car, and went to for a drive Tux was in the lobby and told every one Welcome to the Sheraton, have a great con -BillPutt, TwoThousandFour
in all the excitement of getting ready for penguicon, the muse hit me again to write a poem, as i've done before. For obvious reasons, I didn't write one last year. Penguicon is so awesome, that it feels like i'm going home. I'm tempted to do a parody of those cruise ship commercials where they guy is like claiming to be in exile from his home and he'll go back next year. Kind of what being away from Penguicon feels like. I'll be able to go to consuite ANY TIME and get REAL FOOD! I miss that so much the 2 weeks after con. It's like “i'm hungry, i'll go to consuite. DOH! i'm at home, i have to make something my self.” Just one more night for me and i'll be back and penguicon. YAY! any ways, here's the poem.
A poem for all The fen and the geeks To all of those That Penguicon seeks
It's time once again It's finally here Yip yip hooray Or some other cheer
Tux floats up From his isle in the south Penguicon feeds your head As well as your mouth
The concom races With last minute details The attendees are packing The assault will be full scale
The GoHs are all ready The Nifties are too Panelists prepare “Did I have one hour or 2”
We hope that this year Car gremlins are kept at bay Every one knock on wood Now that's what I say
Hope your trip is safe And your con's lots of fun Send us your pictures That you take by the ton
One last word I'll tell you Be cool and be 1337 Stay at the HolidayInn And not down the street
Make your reservation Now don't be a tool We really want 24-HOUR POOL!
-BillPutt, April TwoThousandSix
“Uncorrected Draft”
It's true what they say about conventions, it's always more fun when you're helping. Of course, it's always a hectic adventure, but I'm greatly enjoying doing publications for Penguicon. For your amusement, with tongue firmly in cheek, let me share with you the parody I just wrote about the foibles that beset us all. It's sung to the tune of “Unrelated Thing” by They Might Be Giants. - MattArnold, MinisterOfCommunications
Why am I on that panel? said the fan I don't remember volunteering, or being asked Not at all, not at all Said the editor to the fan You were looking at an uncorrected draft
Unconnected and free No relationship– to anything
Did we cancel GURPS Horror? said the chair I'm web browsing, I don't find it anywhere Not at all, not at all Said the editor to the chair I was typing from an uncorrected draft
Unconnected and free No relationship- to anything
Do we have a TANSTAAFL? asked [Freon] Were you told it would be expected at Penguicon? Not at all, not at all Said the editor to Freon They voted in an uncorrected draft And I didn't dodge their uncorrected draft
-MattArnold, April TwoThousandFour